Bullying in the "Girl's World"
Sadly, we see a lot of bullying in our schools. Current research tells us that students who experience bullying in schools are far more likely to struggle in school. As school counselors, it is important that we help our students recognize the underlying causes of bullying, develop strategies for ending bullying behavior, and find healthy ways to cope with being bullied. At both of my elementary school internship sites, I see a lot of relational aggression, particularly with young female students. Group counseling is a great way to help students develop heightened self-awareness and practice positive social skills alongside their peers.
I found this pre-made curriculum, Bullying in the Girl's World: A School-Wide Approach to Girl Bullying about one year ago, and I love it! In addition to offering a comprehensive group counseling curriculum with a wide variety of meaningful and fun activities, this book also has whole class lessons, parent education activities, assessments, and individual counseling activities. The activities and lessons are all very age-appropriate and relatable to the current issues that elementary school students experience. I used this curriculum with fourth grade girls, and each group said that they enjoyed the activities and looked forward to coming to group.
I found this pre-made curriculum, Bullying in the Girl's World: A School-Wide Approach to Girl Bullying about one year ago, and I love it! In addition to offering a comprehensive group counseling curriculum with a wide variety of meaningful and fun activities, this book also has whole class lessons, parent education activities, assessments, and individual counseling activities. The activities and lessons are all very age-appropriate and relatable to the current issues that elementary school students experience. I used this curriculum with fourth grade girls, and each group said that they enjoyed the activities and looked forward to coming to group.
Groups Galore!
I purchased another great resource, and I had to share it. It is called The Ultimate Middle School Counseling Handbook by Tim Handrich and Deb Schroeder (two school counselors from Wisconsin. Yay!). This book has a ton of great resources for middle school counselors, including tips for advisory groups and an array of group counseling lessons on topics like friendship, decision-making, gifted and talented, and family change. I have found that the lessons in this book are easily adaptable for elementary school and high school lessons and activities. This will definitely be a tool I use often in my school counseling career.
"Guy Group": Helping Male Students Succeed in Middle School
Research in recent years has shown that the average boy is less verbal and mature than the average girl when he begins school. Once they reach sixth grade, boys often lack language and reading fluency, a literacy and vocabulary shortcoming that can make them hesitant to contribute to discussions in class and conversations outside of class. They can often lack the confidence, desire or know-how to express themselves socially, ask important questions, spark new or maintain old friendships, resolve conflicts, be active listeners, and comprehend others’ points of view. Developmentally, boys experience a wide range of changes and pressures by the time they reach age 11, including the onset of puberty, social insecurities, self-doubt, and peer pressure. Therefore, it is vital that these boys develop the skills to make positive decisions and build positive connections with their male and female peers. In addition to improving peer relationships in middle school, developing good social, communication, and problem-solving skills will be crucial for these boys when it comes time to perform in high school, college and in their careers as adults.
This research, paired with some alarming data collected from my middle school internship site indicating a large gap in achievement between male and female learners, fueled the development and implementation of a counseling group designed specifically to help middle school male students build the necessary skills for school success. While I was unable to find a pre-made, evidence-based counseling group curriculum, I did my best with the research I found and information obtained from a needs assessment from the school to create a "Guy Group."
During the development and implementation of this group, it is important to consider ways to engage male students in a small group counseling setting. For example, I tried to make the structure of the group more activity based rather than discussion-oriented group sessions. Additionally, my group of students seemed much more comfortable and engaged in discussion when they were provided with fidget toys. I always had Play Duh and squishy balls on hand! :) Talking about feelings can be a struggle for boys, so if you feel like you're pulling for responses, it may be helpful to have the students pair share for a few minutes before bringing the discussion back to the whole group. One more easy accommodation I utilized was allowing students to write their response to a specific topic on a piece of paper, crumble it up, and throw it in the center of the circle. I then read the responses anonymously to the whole group. This option was especially useful during the early sessions.
Here is an outline for five 30-minute sessions:
Session 1: Introductions
Session 2: Getting to Know Each Other
Session 3: Expressing Feelings and Building Positive Relationships
Session 4: "Act Like A Man": Exploring Male Gender Stereotypes
Session 5: Decision-Making and Problem-Solving
**Don't forget to conduct a post-test and collect any other relevant data to ensure that the group is meeting its goals and contributing to student academic success!
This research, paired with some alarming data collected from my middle school internship site indicating a large gap in achievement between male and female learners, fueled the development and implementation of a counseling group designed specifically to help middle school male students build the necessary skills for school success. While I was unable to find a pre-made, evidence-based counseling group curriculum, I did my best with the research I found and information obtained from a needs assessment from the school to create a "Guy Group."
During the development and implementation of this group, it is important to consider ways to engage male students in a small group counseling setting. For example, I tried to make the structure of the group more activity based rather than discussion-oriented group sessions. Additionally, my group of students seemed much more comfortable and engaged in discussion when they were provided with fidget toys. I always had Play Duh and squishy balls on hand! :) Talking about feelings can be a struggle for boys, so if you feel like you're pulling for responses, it may be helpful to have the students pair share for a few minutes before bringing the discussion back to the whole group. One more easy accommodation I utilized was allowing students to write their response to a specific topic on a piece of paper, crumble it up, and throw it in the center of the circle. I then read the responses anonymously to the whole group. This option was especially useful during the early sessions.
Here is an outline for five 30-minute sessions:
Session 1: Introductions
- In this session, you will want to set group rules, describe the structure of the group, and facilitate a discussion of the goals of the group.
- For accountability purposes, have the students fill out a pre-test that aligns with the goals of the group. To truly measure the impact of the group on the students academic performance, I also collected student achievement data pre- and post-group.
- This is also a great place to do an interactive activity to help students learn each others name. My favorite activity (since time always flies during group) is the "Stuffed Animal Toss" name game. In this game, students stand in a circle and toss the stuffed animal to the person across from them, saying the person's name while they toss. The next person does the same until all members have passed the stuffed animals. The leader then continues to add more stuffed animals. My students have loved this (especially the boys) because they get to move around and throw things...and it can be a challenge! :)
Session 2: Getting to Know Each Other
- The goal of this session is to explore student strengths, interests and value. Additionally, students will practice attentive listening skills as well as how to give and receive feedback.
- For this session, a game like The Ungame Teens is a great way provide students with opportunities to share, listen, and give each other feedback. Another option is to have the students break into pairs and ask each other questions the leader provides. Encourage students to ask follow-up questions and make connections.
Session 3: Expressing Feelings and Building Positive Relationships
- Talking about feelings and relationships are often not easy for boys. With this in mind, I created a board game to a sense of competition along with a discussion about dating and friendship. For this game, I just took an old candy land board game and created my own "Hot Topics" cards to coincide with the various color options that the game pieces could land on. We each rolled a dice and moved as main spaces as the number we rolled. While there were no winners, the students seemed to like the slight sense of competition and the structure that the game created.
- The cards included a mixture of surface-level questions and questions that required more thought. Examples include: 1) What would you do if you saw someone shoplifting?; 2) Are your a follower or a leader?; 3) Share your thoughts about attending college; 4) Share a time when peer pressure influenced you; 5) How important is it for you to be popular?; 6) Name three reasons why someone should have you as a friend; 7) What is the best thing for you to do when you feel yourself becoming angry; 8) How would you tell someone you have been dating that you do not want to date them any more?; 9) Name two things that help people have a close relationship; 10) What are three qualities you look for in someone you would like to date?
Session 4: "Act Like A Man": Exploring Male Gender Stereotypes
- The goal of this session is to increase student awareness of gender stereotyping, peer pressure, and the media's role in perpetuating these stereotypes.
- This topic may be best explored in two sessions, as it is such an important topic for developing males. :)
- To begin the discussion, pull images or videos depicting stereotypical male figures and symbols through magazines, television show clips, and/or movie clips. You might want to ask students to plan ahead for this session by encouraging them to bring in magazines or watch for commercials that advertise to men. I found that the students had no trouble at all listing stereotypical male characters and describing what they are told is "a real man."
- To provide a visual guide for the discussion, I utilized this "Act Like A Man" box activity and adapted it to fit more specifically with the needs of the students in my group. Using the "Act Like A Man" box activity, I led the students in a discussion of male gender stereotypes as well as where we learn these gender roles and how stereotypes are reinforced (gender bullying). I let the students be very blunt and honest with what types of names people are called when they step outside the "Man Box." This led to a great discussion about specific situations when the students were bullied or experienced gender-specific peer pressure.
- It is important to emphasize that stereotypes are destructive because they limit our potential. Boys are not born to be violent or to have unhealthy attitudes toward girls. We learn these attitudes and behaviors through stereotypes of what society things it means to act like a man, and we can free ourselves from the restrictions of these boxes once we see them as unrealistic ideals. This is not to say that it is wrong for men to like cars or sports or for girls to enjoy cooking. The problem is that we are told that we must perform these roles in order to fit in. It is important for all of us to make our own decisions about what we do.
- To close, I asked the students to think about and share what they can do to reduce male-specific peer pressure in the school. Some suggestions they gave include: stand up a person who is being bullied, be yourself, tell an adult when they see or experience bullying, don't make fun of others. Finally, it is worth stating that being a male is not always easy. In some settings, men are expected to be strong and emotionless, while in others (specifically dating relationships) they are expected to be supportive, compassionate, and sensitive. This is a challenging line to walk.
Session 5: Decision-Making and Problem-Solving
- During this final session, I ended with fun activity to promote collaborative decision-making and problem-solving.
- The students were provided with a scenario in which they were a group aboard a sinking ship. This task was to work together (in smaller groups) to come up with a top 5 list of items they believe are most important for their survival. The students were provided with an "item ranking sheet," and were provided with time to make selections individually before joining their partners.
- I found this activity in a great group counseling book called The Ultimate Middle School Counseling Handbook, but you can also find similar activities online, such as this one.
- With this activity, students are bound to experience conflict, so it is a great opportunity for the group leader(s) to jump from group to group to provide support and encourage students to compromise and problem-solve.
**Don't forget to conduct a post-test and collect any other relevant data to ensure that the group is meeting its goals and contributing to student academic success!